Help, I’m an Extrovert and I’m Dating an Introvert

Take introverts and extroverts for example. One likes solitude and a bit of peace and quiet most of the time, while the other likes to be out and about socialising. Yet strangely enough a lot of couples are made up of this exact personality pairing. So I took the easier option and nosed into the lives of a few nice people to try and understand why introvert-extrovert relationships can be such a winning formula. Perhaps unsurprisingly, it seems the most likely time for an extrovert-introvert relationship to fail is right at the beginning. Dating, going out and socialising are a really common way for two people to get to know each other unless your partner-to-be is more of the Netflix and Chill type, in which case, run for the hills now.

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Do you know how to help your spouse rest, recharge and find the energy they need to live well tomorrow? Or, on the contrary, are you rather the kind of partner who tends to draw from their spouse the last fragments of vigour that remains in them? My wife and I will often have a certain type of conversation, late at night, which inevitably ends in a conflict. And with good reason, I grant it.

I’m an introvert and now have been dating a (brilliant, beautiful) extrovert for pretty much couple of years. It’s a continuing learning and growing.

Compatibility in a relationship is a funny thing. Some people insist that opposites attract, while others think that the more alike you are, the better. Similarly, not all extroverts are the life of the party. Introverts need time alone to recharge, while extroverts feel energized by spending time with people.

Once you understand that, you can start to make your relationship work around these differences. A lot of extroverts might not always remember how important your downtime is. Your partner needs that social time to recharge, so encourage them to go and spend time with their friends and doing the things they like that you might not have any interest in. I’ll try not to schedule anything so I can have the flat to myself.

During times of stress—and even times of grief—introverts and extroverts are likely to react differently. Becker-Phelps tells Web MD. Getting to the root of the issue will help you find a compromise.

5 Key Signs You Are Dating An Introvert [Our Dating Personality EXPLAINED!]

Last Updated: March 29, References. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in This article has been viewed 7, times. You may have found yourself attracted to that outgoing, sociable cutie you see around sometimes.

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However, to get to that level of understanding with one another, Olivera suggests learning what type of extrovert you are, as well as what type of introvert your partner is. One way to do so is through the Meyers-Briggs test so you can figure out your personality type. You can either do the test online or with someone like a therapist.

When we started dating, my extroverted boyfriend always wanted to hang out. It was way too much for me at first! I’m an introvert. I like my alone.

We swiped each other on Tinder, I told him I liked his dimples, and after a few days of nonstop witty texting , we met for drinks at a hipster hangout in the East Village. The text game and sexual attraction were strong across the airwaves. We had a few drinks. I did all the talking. I carried the conversation; regaling him with stories of wild nights out.

I walked away from that date and thought: Wow, that guy definitely thinks I’m the worst. I was befuddled. How could he possibly have thought that was a good date?

4 Things Extroverts Need to Know About Their Introverted S.O.

Initially, when dating, there is often attraction between introverts and extroverts since each partner consistently offers what the other is missing within their life and character. The extrovert can liven up the introvert and motivate them to take action, while the introvert can calm the extrovert down when needed and act as a steady source of quiet comfort. For the introvert who really wants to make things work with an extroverted sweetheart, here are some tips to help you do just that without going crazy.

So here are our top tips:. Introverts use alone time to recharge their personal batteries.

It’s pretty adorable and I love him for it, until we’ve been at an event for four hours and he’s still killin’ it, but I’m at the point where I’m sneaking.

They say opposites attract, but how true is that? I am an introvert and have been dating a brilliant, beautiful extrovert for almost two years. For instance, parties and social gatherings can be an anxiety roller-coaster for an introvert. Like, I know that this thing we have to go to has booze and probably even snacks, but what if i have to — god forbid — talk to people?!

I wish I had learned this earlier, but holy fuck, pro-tip: heading into every party with an extrovert by your side is maybe the most stress-alleviating thing ever. Instead of having to show up, greet anyone I make eye contact with, procure a drink and find a place to stand, now I can just roll out and follow her lead. And when I have to make small talk with a person whose name I forgot, I can lean on her for that too. That being said, simple activities are waaaay more complicated.

Being the classic introvert that I am, I love getting immersed in movies, music, and art. Soaking in dystopian sci-fi vibes and letting my imagination run wild is my nerdy mental home base. Blade Runner , though. For the extrovert, this is a nightmare. Clubs are too loud to hear, galleries too quiet to talk, and sitting through a whole movie makes her feel bored or suffocated.

9 Secrets to Dating an Introvert, According to Experts

Miraculously, he laughs, and you spend the rest of the evening in front of that painting, locked in conversation. Rather, the defining characteristic of an introvert is that what recharges his battery is spending quiet time alone, as opposed to extroverts, who tend to get their energy from being around other people, says Zar. Especially in a new relationship, we tend to catastrophize. Instead of assuming, just ask.

Exactly no one likes to have their social performance judged, says Zar.

Being an introvert over an extrovert is about two main factors: The first difference between introverts and extroverts is energy. An introverted person gains energy.

While introverts prefer spending time alone and having smaller groups of friends, extroverts need to be around people, so how do you make it work? I decided to test this theory among oppositely paired couples I knew. How do they make it work? Their answers below may surprise you. He knows I need that time, so he does his best to give me space — and I try to respect his needs by not dwelling on it for days.

None of us are mind readers — so communication is a major key for introverts and extroverts in a relationship. Being self-aware of what you each need here is step one, but you have to share that with the other person, too!

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